sweet whispers

we have had the amazing fortune of having three families send us video of our sweet girl, when they delivered our care packages to her.
it is so amazing to be able to see her move, and watch her reactions.

one thing though,
i have yet to hear her speak.

i watch other families videos, and their kids are chatting away.
but not our daughter.

one of the families told me she speaks in whispers, almost unable to hear...

i cannot WAIT to hear those sweet whispers up close, where i have to lean in to really hear.

oh geez.

here we go again....

We are writing to inform you that a notice was posted by the Ethiopian Federal Court stating that the recent change in the court policies (put into place on March 10th) has been put on hold. The March 10th change required both prospective adoptive parents to appear in person at their court appointment in order to testify to their desire and commitment to adopt their referred child(ren). We do not know how long this change will be on hold or if/when it will be reinstated.

oh my.

i don't even know how to feel.

biometrics.. done.

steve and i got our fingerprints taken yesterday.
it took five minutes.
and now we wait for our I-171 approval.
from what i hear, iowa seems to be fairly quick at mailing these out...
but i am not holding my breath :)

change of plans

effective immediately the ethiopian high courts are now requiring both adoptive parents to be present at the first court date.

this is a big deal.
this changes things.


this means that somewhere in the next 8 weeks, steve and i will likely be in ethiopia, meeting our daughter, going to court, and leaving.

without our daughter.

this was never a part of our plan,
this extra trip for court.

and while the added costs are likely to add 7 grand to the total, that is not what makes my heart sick today.

we are leaving ethiopia without our daughter.

and won't be expected to go back for about three months.

leaving her there.

after we have met her, loved on her, told her that we are coming for her,

we have to leave.

she has already experienced so many more goodbyes in her seven years than most do in a lifetime.. and knowing that we are adding to those makes my heart ache.

read this today...

on a wonderful woman's blog who is in Ethiopia right now picking up her two girls, and delivering a care package to our daughter:


Amy Smith- I adore your little girl. She is so docile, content, and gorgeous!! I have lots to tell you about her. Send an email to my yahoo address so I can reply. You will LOVE LOVE LOVE HER.

my heart.

later this afternoon, some of my very best friends are boarding a plane to sierra leone, west africa.
i am so proud of these women.
incredible, strong, focused, and real.
their hearts long for the hurting, the widowed, the orphaned, the homeless, the unloved.
i want to be there with them,
to the point that a deep ache has formed inside my chest.
i understand why i cannot go,
i accept it,
i even know it is the right choice.. that these women are the exact people who should be going.
and i should not.
so i have spent much time examining why it hurts so much.
and i think it is because,
my heart is already lives there.

africa.

where my beautiful girl was born,
where she waits for us to bring her home.

i just want to be there,
touch the ground,
smell the air,
love the people... her people.