feeling lost

so much is happening.
not much of it good.

i am left doubting, and unsure. broken hearted, and weak. i don't know if we will ever see our beautiful sparrow face to face, here on this earth.

i don't know if we made the right decision to let our hearts open to that little girl. when we knew full well that there is not currently a program in SL.

foolish.
that's how i feel.
and sorry.
and not in control.

i know many adoption stories have children in them, who were the first. the one's who made the "bridge" to the children that eventually came home. i understand that this happens a lot.
but understanding it, and putting my little girl's face in that spot are two totally different things.

i love her. i long for her.
why can't that be enough?