a go.

we are home study approved.
and we have in our possession, the file of a little girl. :)

i can't share any information,
until we pass court in Ethiopia,
so it will be awhile..
but trust me when i say,
she is perfect.
completely perfect.

now..
because we are doing things a bit backwards,
we have to submit our I-600,
AND submit our dossier before we get approval back on that.
with the hope being,
if everything is in, and complete, we will just have to be fingerprinted, and then we can send everything over to Ethiopia.

and because we will receive her referral
as soon as our dossier is in,
that means a HUGE chunk of the cost is going to come all at once,
instead of spread out between a number of months,
like many adoptions.

not sure how that is going to happen.
just praying, and trusting that it will all work out.

so happy right now.
mixed with awe,
sorrow,
thanksgiving,
grace,
and mercy.

almost.

having a few frustrating days.

last friday we got conformation that our home study was complete.

so monday, it was faxed to our family coordinator.
and monday night,
she informed me that she needed more documents.

okay.

i can do that.
faxed them this morning.

and still....
we wait.

ugh.

it is so difficult, because i know the file of our potential daughter sits on her desk... waiting as well.

the sense of urgency is somehow not there for them,
as it is for me, and i get that.

but it frustrates me.

fragile heart

i read something today that brought me to tears.
a judge, who was presiding over an adoption hearing in el salvador,
said these words to the adopting family:

"These children were not orphaned for nothing.
It was destined that they would become a part of your family."

my heart aches to know our daughter,
to assure her that we are her family,
that she wasn't orphaned for nothing.
that although we are plan b, we are still god's plan.
and that we will spend the rest of our lives loving her
for her birth mom and dad who can't.

143 million children were not orphaned for nothing.

there is meaning in their lives, to their lives, and for their lives.

all one hundred and forty three million of them.

spelling sentences from micah...

found this is in micah's backpack this morning..

i wish that my new sister is going to be here soon.
me too, micah, me too.

sort of done...

well, we finished up our last meeting with our social worker last night.
now we just have to wait for her to write everything up...

and then, then i think i am a bit lost.
i wish i had someone here, to say, okay... now send this, now mail this, now give this to them.. etc. on a daily basis.

our agency recommends that you don't send in your I-600 until you have a completed home study.. but why? it seems like other people send theirs in right away.

it is all so confusing.
and annoying.
and totally out of my comfort zone.

and all the while our daughter sits and waits to be known.
ugh.

and i almost forgot...

blender.

that was apparently the next item to break.

three down, one to go

the visit from the social worker went well.

she was here until 11pm.

but in the grand scheme of things..
she could be at my house every single night if she wanted to,
if it means bringing our daughter home.

the kids are getting excited.

asking all sorts of questions.
brody is impatient.
wants her here now.

i concur.

clean.

that would be the state of my home.

clean.

social worker coming tonight for the dreaded home visit...

all the windows open, doors open, fans going,
and no kids here.

but they will be soon.
and i am certain that my clean house will look nothing like it does right now,
when she shows up.

ugh.

the list

okay, so..
you know you are adopting when..
your dryer breaks,
your refrigerator breaks, and
your central vacuum breaks.

waiting for the next item.
car?
dishwasher?

i mean, seriously.

stop.

i need to stop going and looking at the waiting child page.
i just got through telling someone that i wasn't going to go look anymore.

but i did.

and now there are several faces that i cannot get out of my head.
i am not sure what to do with that.

i am not sure if it is good to have their faces
haunting me,
but what if they aren't?

are they on any one's mind?